i need to leave.

so i'm going to. january 15th i'm out. winter abroad, alone is the absolute best thing i can think of at the moment. i'm not happy here for the most pathetic reason and i'm looking forward to regaining perspective. and reading some good books. peace canada.

redesign

i'm in the mood to live in a space like this. i can't relate to my wall colours anymore. not that i can afford to do this any time soon but at least it's inspiration for the next living space.

communication breakdown

"weird"

let's discuss what this word means to us. to me it's one of the most positive words i know. i think i generally use it to replace "interesting" but after trying to convince a guy the other night that me calling him "weird" was a massive compliment, i realized i might be alone in this. i am completely attracted to things and people that are curiously bizarre. things i don't quite understand but that none the less, peak my interest. i think most people i know feel the same way but whenever i use the word with a big smile on my face, i get the oddest looks. i also tend to take it as a compliment when i'm called "weird", even though i'm sure it's often not meant that way :)

google image "weird" and this is the first thing that comes up. see how great it is?

oh my, winter's on it's way

i apologize for the many months i've spent without an update but summer is not the time to be on the computer (unless it's your job). with prime time tv back on and the weather making me want to stay inside cuddled on the couch, the internet is seeing much more of my face lately and i have no excuse to ignore bird songs.

i'm still working full time at the wild bird care centre and it's still the best thing in my life. i feel so lucky everyday to have a job i'm so passionate about and be working with people i consider to be such dear friends. lately, it's been all about cuddling with very sick canada geese and driving hawks to the vet for surgery every day.

speaking of birds, a friend of mine sent me this link a few days ago and i think it's worthy of sharing (i already posted it to tracey's blog!). it's a new book of bird photos by andrew zuckerman and they are the most incredible pictures i've ever seen. he's being hailed as the modern day audubon because he uses technology to be able to capture every detail of these animals. his use of the white background makes every image into a portrait. check it out. bird book

dws

he's back. 2 years of silence and pride have all come crashing down and pouring out. with an apology and a look, i took it all back. we're us again and i wish it didn't feel this good because i already know how it ends and it's not pretty. some guys know how to say all the right things. kenza, it's who you think it is. he's my achilles heel :( i fell off the wagon.

i love my job

i knew i liked volunteering at the bird centre but i never realized how much until i started as a full time employee 4 weeks ago. i have never felt more passionate about anything. this really is what i need to do with my life. animal care is my calling. i go in on my days off, i put in unpaid overtime, i go home and cry because i've fallen in love with the sick, it's stressful and overwhelming but there is no where else i'd rather be. i learn new things every hour, and there's still so so much i don't know. i just know i feel as though this is where i belong. now if only i could somehow satisfy that pang in the back of my chest that wants me to wander the planet for months on end...

my social life is mostly on hold. one or two times a week i manage to show my face around town but i mostly work and sleep. my next task is finding more time for my pony.

i think i'll be going to mtl this sunday evening for A Camp. hope to see some ladies i like

today i love these songs