slightly overwhelmed

it's difficult to write a small amount when you have a lot to say. i've been avoiding the blog over the past ten days because of the overwhelming amount of stories i have to tell and thoughts i have in my head. perhaps someday, when my head is less full, i'll be able to write interesting accounts of these events with clearer words and a sense of humour.

in brief, our truck caught on fire and burned to the ground on christmas eve in new brunswick, my mother got engaged, i missed some important events in ottawa due to flight cancelations and spent the night in pearson airport, my car battery died last night and i had to rely on some good friends to help me get it to the shop and pick it up today, and i have a wonderful american boy coming to visit me tomorrow. tonight is new year's eve and i really wish i was spending it in montreal but i have canine responsibilities and will therefore be party hoping in ottawa, trying to score some hot lips at the stroke of midnight :) love out to the blogging world xoxo have a great end to the year

oh ps. i got a slightly new do

whoa 2002

i just came across some footage of one of the best shows i've ever been to: the first night of posi #s 2002 featuring a no warning set where an edge ben cook spits beer all over the crowd and then barfs on them, and does a murphy's law cover, and the cro mags set where harley and jon josef are playing together. many people who have talked to me about hardcore may have heard me tell a story about this night where i "almost fight harley's wife". if you REALLY know me, you know that i would never almost fight anyone and low and beyold, this video actually SHOWS this event happening!! during the cro mags songs at around 11:00, you see me standing in a good spot taking pictures, his wife coming over and saying something to me, and me moving aside so she can take my spot. i look slightly annoyed but that is about as far as this supposed fight goes! i was really really pissed off though and in my memory, i was ready to rip harley's unborn child out of her womb. but to the outside eye, i just stand there and do nothing. i am blocking half the camera the whole time though with my elbow and i'm wearing a really embarrassing outfit that includes a red straight edge shirt (it actually might have been an afi shirt now that i think about it) and a camo bandana. 17 wasn't really a year of great style for me but at least i didn't have black hair anymore. video link here! i also enjoyed the suicide file shout out to say goodbye and all the south MA bands because this was a good 2 years before i knew who any of them were.

i need better boots

my new boots are adorable but the suede leeks black and pink stains onto my socks when they get wet. i need some serious winter hiking boots so that i can take long walks in the middle of the night. i feel like i need to turn into a writer. i've got so much to say and no one to say it to. sometimes i try to share the inner workings of my mind but usually i avoid that because when people inevitably don't "get" me, i tend to feel more alone than ever. with no real outlet, i just feel like the thoughts flow around into a giant mess inside my head and the good ones tend to get lost forever. i've never been able to keep a private journal because i don't know how to write to no one but i think i should start giving it a try. i feel that it would be a good step for me and might allow me to set some more concrete goals for myself.

"jealousy kills girl love" gtfanzine

girls should never be JEALOUS of other girls. they should instead ADMIRE girls with success and allow themselves to be INSPIRED to become more admirable themselves :)

an iain campbell post

i should really be studying but instead, have decided to take a moment to share some really lovely songs i'm loving at the moment. two of these three videos have been inspired by (stolen from) blogs i follow (and love).

the first is an adorable french chick that iain turned me onto that i just can't get enough of. she is called coeur de pirate and all you montreal kids probably heard about her 4 years ago or something but i don't pretend to know stuff first. this song makes me feel so damn good and i hope you all feel the same way when you watch this :)



the second song is one of my all time favorite men, walter schreifels, doing an agnostic front cover and making it amazingly beautiful. spoiler's blog is where i first saw this in youtube form some weeks ago. i am really in love with walter. years ago he told me he liked my elephant tattoo and i couldn't even say anything because he was wearing a cape and i was so turned on.



finally, i just got this year's release from fleet foxes and i really love it. this video is cute because of all the goats. i love goats.



you know how there are those amazing people who just seem to be 3 steps ahead of the game when it comes to music or fashion or trends or just knowing what's cool before anyone else knows about it, well as much as i respect and admire people like that, i know i unfortunately will never be one of them. i try to surround myself with them in order to at least be 1 step ahead of the truly clueless but for the most part, i just feel like my whole life i haven't even been on that same path. i'm on a parallel path that's just close enough so i can sometimes see what's going on if i look but i mostly get too distracted by interesting insects and fuzzy woodland creatures

love should be free and encouraged

i just saw one of the most incredible movies i've ever witnessed. it was passionate, interesting, informative, moving, entertaining...it was Milk, starring sean penn, and two of my biggest hollywood crushes, james franco and emile hirsch. it's based on a true story about Harvey Milk, who is basically the man responsible for starting the gay civil rights movement in san fransisco in the 70s. it really just a story about people fighting to be who they are in a country so full of hate and fear. but it was really beautiful. the acting and story were just incredible. i really can't say enough good about this film. it a great movie to see if you are a gay rights supporter but really important to see for people who don't understand or feel comfortable with the gay lifestyle because i think it portrays the characters in a really relatable way. 7 thumbs up and i hope (and expect) that it will get oscar nods along the board. go see it tonight!



in other news, tonight is going to be all about pad thai, 3D cartoons and kissing :) my favs!

long eyelashes and a velvet nose

update: i bought her. or, have committed to buying her. at first i was freaking out a little. mark called me this morning and said someone else was offering to buy her and pick her up today so did i want her or not and i was just like uhhhhhhh yes. so then i hung up and started crying i don't know why. i was shaking. i think i was just really overwhelmed. i mean, i've been riding since i was born, taking lessons for 17 years, and my family could never afford a horse for me. all the other kids had horses but i always had to ride my coaches horses or my friends' horses. i had horses that i loved and even a few horses that i leased but i've never had one to take care of and call my own and it's a really big deal. but i know i chose the perfect one for me. i've always felt like oreo and i were exactly alike. if i were a horse, i'd be oreo and if she were a human, she'd be me. i think after a few hours it's starting to sink in and i'm getting really really excited :) i've also decided to apply for government temp jobs in order to finance this big event.