dws

he's back. 2 years of silence and pride have all come crashing down and pouring out. with an apology and a look, i took it all back. we're us again and i wish it didn't feel this good because i already know how it ends and it's not pretty. some guys know how to say all the right things. kenza, it's who you think it is. he's my achilles heel :( i fell off the wagon.

i love my job

i knew i liked volunteering at the bird centre but i never realized how much until i started as a full time employee 4 weeks ago. i have never felt more passionate about anything. this really is what i need to do with my life. animal care is my calling. i go in on my days off, i put in unpaid overtime, i go home and cry because i've fallen in love with the sick, it's stressful and overwhelming but there is no where else i'd rather be. i learn new things every hour, and there's still so so much i don't know. i just know i feel as though this is where i belong. now if only i could somehow satisfy that pang in the back of my chest that wants me to wander the planet for months on end...

my social life is mostly on hold. one or two times a week i manage to show my face around town but i mostly work and sleep. my next task is finding more time for my pony.

i think i'll be going to mtl this sunday evening for A Camp. hope to see some ladies i like

today i love these songs

oops

i feel bad because i never want to write about my life anymore. i still don't want to but the guilt is winning out for a quick moment.

i've started my summer job at the bird centre. i work 4 days a week, 10.5 hours a day. it's really tiring and leaves me time for nearly nothing else. when i do have days off, i get to spend them in physio and desperately trying to accomplish household chores. i need to start finding more time for ponies and friends. i'll get into a routine i guess.

it's nice to be a graduate though. i got 100% on my ornithology final so i really went out with a bang. i've even been able to apply some of my new knowledge at work and people seem genuinely impressed. that feels good.

so that's my life lately. i wish my summer was going to be about more than just making money but it really won't. that has to be my first priority, oreo being my second. my social life is going to have to wait.

i've been eating really well lately. calorie counting is more fun than it sounds and very rewarding.

here is a recent picture of me with a paper mache bald eagle

no longer a student

so yesterday i graduated university. it's kind of a strange feeling. i'm starting work at the bird centre in just under 3 weeks so i've got a bit of time to relax for a moment here and potentially do all the things i've talked about doing for months but never had time for. (ie. clean the house, exercise outdoors, read more, do crafts, etc)

i'm also getting irritated and disillusioned by the internet lately. i blame celeb twitters. it's all too much. i'll still check my email every day but school is over and i don't need to be sitting in front of my laptop for hours on end every day anymore. part of me wants to throw the computer out the window and go lie in a field somewhere looking up at the clouds but maybe i'll need to edit down that plan and just head out for a midday bike ride :) later friends

actual bird song content

so i came home from my bird song course this morning (at 10am...it's over by then) and i heard a bird singing in the trees across the street. i didn't know what it was but it was a distinct call that felt familiar so i went to my trusty bird songs field guide and spent ages listening to recordings and finally identified it as a northern cardinal :) i feel that this is a really huge accomplishment and a step in the right direction. i can't wait for more moments like this.

party party

have a great weekend :)